i feel guilty for kissing another guy

Well, that's all fairly laudible but I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. I kissed my husbands best friend while we were drunk, well no, he kissed me My boyfriend was drunk and let his friend sleep between us. I'm dating this guy and have been for about 2 months. A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. No, you don't. Thinking of it over and over again will affect you mentally, and make it worse. I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. I told him straight away what had happened. Look at your first kiss after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter. You were drunk and you kissed - One of those long young people type kisses too . Tell boyfriend another guy tried to kiss me? - GirlsAskGuys I'm disgusted with myself to think I would do that after just the tiniest bit of attention and flattery. :-)), SOULMATE: Meant as in the universe of sisterhood (wrongly) To award Biggest B*lls on the Block Award -comment never was to imply same race- so on behalf of the Academy I accept :), (Good stuff. get into counselling. If you want a relationship then be ready to be trustworthy. I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. And Brodie groped James. And as for our original subject, who knows maybe she told him. One way to get over the guilt would be to prove to yourself that it will never happen again. It's just a "good weekend?" If, on the other hand, you kissed someone whom you knew or someone your significant other believes youve always liked, and then you confess that you kissed him or her, your actions could have major consequences for your relationship Why? (Ta-daaaa!) With or without the same seniority. But you can control whether you nurture the crush or acknowledge it and move on. However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. Slaying suspect pleads guilty | News, Sports, Jobs - Altoona Mirror Be the adult here. Here's what it's like for straight guys to kiss other guys - Metro An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. Kissed another man. Distraught by my feelings. | Mumsnet Helping ppl have the sex life they truly want thru writing & education. Hi SoulMate! So you went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your already Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" I'd be obsessed with it. Have a happy day every one. It didn't feel real. He encouraged me to to ring for a taxi from his house which I did. What should I do. Nooooo, surely not. Once was after we'd had a bit of a heavy talk earlier, and the other two were after we dropped one of the little ones off at the grandparents and he started talking about if it gets easier to leave a child (ie when you have weekend contact and you have to drop the child back off at the end of it.). I Kissed Another Guy When I Was Drunk, Should I Tell My Boyfriend? I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. So this was the whole tone in which I recounted it to hubby, ergo, he thought it was amusing (the event and my comeback), flattering to him *and* reassuring. reader, Angel-lee+, writes (25 October 2005): A female I am heartbroken but told him I understand that I couldnt be with someone who doesnt trust me. I get the whole 'not wanting to hurt him' thing but, to some people at least, a kiss is very much cheating and so the SO deserves to know what happened right? I think you already knew what you wanted to do, your husband was not home, saw an opportunity, and wanted to use being drunk as a cover story. Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. female So - no - if I feel like entertaining myself, I only have to think of my favourite joke about, what do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? 4. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do . Live with the soul crushing guilt you earned, or lose your BF. Similarly, meeting with someone privately and not telling your partner can also be a warning sign that . It's not just a guy thing anymore,women are in it too. So, you went to a party and everyone was drinking. I am deeply shocked this has happened and I don't know who to turn to for help. He is a good person and a good husband and I love him very much. SA you have got it- it is more the "what's behind it" than what happened. I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. Way to make someone who, already understands and feels terrible guilt for what they've done, feel chronically worse. I am a good person and have never done anything like this before. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I feel like I am hypnotized by the guy. So if your planting includes a blight (guilty secret), please don't moan if it affects the crop yield. ;-). Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. Feel free to start your own thread if you finally find you've a need to.). You mentioned foreplay as being the main gate. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. (works every time :-p) Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. Now that you got drunk, you feel justified in kissing that person because you got drunk and couldnt help yourself. I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. I went to a party with friends last night and I kissed someone.. Wow! focus on you and your DH. 2023 FemaleFirst Ltd. all rights reserved. Can you tthan please explain this? Confide in someone you trust. If I were the husband and some how found out through a second party my trust would be broken. Will the guilt ever go away? The doubt in your mind over his behaviour might actually be a doubt in your mind over yours. Need help with your relationship? I like the soft smooth touch of a woman and her sexy smell while iam kissing her with passion, if there is a romantic connection it's even better. I believe that over time this would have happened with or without the wiskey. Login first No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. When you're in a long-term relationship, it's normal to have a little crush on someone other than your partner. Try to let it go and forgive yourself. 5. Your guilt is your punishment. What!! I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. I was heart broken, and even though he said he immediately pulled away, and we stayed together and over time forgot about it, I remember feeling so uneasy every time I knew he would be in that girls company. Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. Which may not seem like a big deal for some of you. You cheated. If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. I know, I need to start a thread. But for me, it was. I could go on about a lot of things here. Don't feel guilty because you are a mom (or dad) and you feel like you need to be spending time with them. Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. Guilt protects our relationships. I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. That's a lot to take in. Not just to you. SOULMATE is totally right and we all know it. Why? Then (my name) I NEED SEX! You came to your sences and stopped this from going any farther. Keep it to yourself. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. My girlfriend(Cintia), me and my best friends girlfriend (called Mercy). Are you sure all you did was kiss? What are you going to do, then? What isn't, is Though somehow I think there might have been trouble in the marriage. There is no earthly reason that your partner needs to know chapter and verse of every indiscretion you ever engaged in. Sorry, you two, I'm not ignoring you, just super-super-busy at the mo. Just trying to keep the pot stirred,the fire burning. I love your stories, Foxie. He's a work colleague by the way, and we would get on well in work but have no contact outside of work). What you *can* have is the Biggest B*lls on the Block award. On which note - "Marriage is about trust not tryst": I like that saying. the guy has a long term girlfriend who he lives with and he said she was really angry with him for coming home so late, then he said, look, I think we're good people that completely lost our minds for 5 minutes, and are suffering major guilt for it now, but it will never ever happen again, and I'm not going to say a word to anyone' to which I replied 'neither am I' and he said 'ok, look I'll see you on Monday but this is going to be ok, don't worry, we can move on from this' I like him so so much and I know I was just being drunk and ****. 99% of us in this situation would do exactly as SUSIEQDD posted. In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! Kissing After Divorce: Can You Handle It? - Divorced Girl Smiling You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" I waited for the right time ?? Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. Finding it with someone else just accelerates the process. I see this as two issues. Sometimes it doesnt help to tell your partner everything. I practise what I preach, me. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) I'm not going to let that or any insulting aspersions, subtle or otherwise, put me off. Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. by Lucy Moore for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): A What if they were married? Free weekly email, Insta, and more - > https://linktr.ee/monogamish_me. If it were me, I would contact her, & let her know that I didn't appreciate her actions. Genie, I think being honest is always the best because. Chelsea X Leeds - Ao Vivo Grtis HD Sem Travar | Futebol Grtis HD I said to my husband, I have something to tell you, but I dont know how to say it.. (*'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. I think it is a better idea for both of you good luck.do share progress. It didn't feel real. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, I can see you feel very passionate about infidelity, however, on this occassion I won't be taking your advice. Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. It happens, in other words. As for this one, I think it's safe to say it's run its course for now. I wouldn't want him around the person. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. You were no exception. The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" :p. You're quite correct, though, I did forget the typical-forum rule of only ever responding with whatever would leave me super-popular, particularly amongst the most naive and dupe-able who 'can't tell' quite a lot. Thank you. 3 Ways to Keep Guilt From Ruining Your Relationships We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships, My magic wand would remove shame from sexuality for all! She confessed to loving the experience and enjoyed the thrill knowing she had her husbands permission and he was watching her. Alcohol was a factor, but all it did was bring to the surface the feelings that were already there. Talk to her about it and explain to her how it hurt you to see them kissing. I'm really surprised that everyone is saying "It's just a kiss" and to not tell the SO. If he wants to keep her as a "friend", complete access is a must. By having a relationship with someone else and then just disappearing off it made things so much more complex for me, him and particularly the DC. You can keep quiet and resolve never to do this again. However for the next time please be careful and never do such a blunder because he's a gem and you should not lose him just for your stupid or foolish acts .i mean any sophisticated or a ONE MAN WOMAN (a proud title for me :) and hopflly for u too ) wont like to stress her relatn or leave a man whom she loves or take him in a position where he might leave ? Of course there would have to be a lot of transparency in the marriage there after. I still feel so guilty and I just don't know what to do. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. Kissing that that guy confirmed it. Now, four years later, I am feeling extreme guilt to the point that it is making me sick and consuming thoughts every minute of the day. View related questions: Your punishment is living with this. I dont drink, but had i been drinking i would have chosen home is the best place to be vulnerable lol! You just never, ever know. You do risk upset feelings as a consequence. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! I knew you liked him/her. ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! Oh, I see. LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time. [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? Well, time for some fun questions: would you be telling him about it just to alleviate your own guilt? Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. So, when he offered me whisky, I happily drank it until I was drunk as a skunk. But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. You wanna tell your husband? If he's like meI can forgive the actbut not the lying. I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. But please seperate the issues. Lees theory has a big vulnerability. How is that beneficial to him? I too stand by my post as well-doing what is right as it relates to this issue is hardly ever the path taken. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? Dont tell me that you and ______ (the girl who was staying at our house for the weekend) are lesbians? Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. It's South of France for us this year, holiday-wise, and then in about a year-and-a-half's time we're off permanently to Espana (por favor). 10 Things You Didn't Know About Guilt | Psychology Today Yes Im addiction there are things called SUDs.. 507 views, 8 likes, 5 loves, 10 comments, 6 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scrittori a domicilio: Mattia Insolia, Cieli in fiamme (Mondadori) con. response. Houston, well, whaddayaknow - I'M PREGNANT! VerticalScope Inc., 111 Peter Street, Suite 600, Toronto, Ontario, M5V 2H1, Canada. (That'll do me nicely! But fine, then 'It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it': give him the truth *cleverly*. One is your marriage, the other is a relationship with a married man with family. I am 100% sure he will forgive you and will love you even more for telling him (which you should have done A LONG TIME AGO). You reap what you sow. Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. Despite their passion during the kiss though, thestraight guys (quite predictably)all saythey still identified asstraight. I'm not married nor have I ever been married. The last person you should be talking to about your feelings of guilt is your partner. :), Ah cawlled *you* 'sistah', dun't mean Ah iz wurn too, 'kayyy, shugah? My gf went to a house party and got really drunk, and apparently kissed a g My girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy, 2 months later she got drunk and kissed a girl, HELP. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. It's one of those cases where keeping it a secret would be worse than the transgression itself, especially since it'd be a case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. I speak from experience when I say that when that intimacy starts to die, it can be the start of the end. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. To be honest, my stomach is sick with the thoughts of the whole thing. 10 Do's And Don't's Of Dating Multiple People | Thought Catalog (SK: no, it's just one of those places that's never appealed, holiday-wise, no doubt exacerbated by the fact I don't like long-haul flights for how they literally do my head in (think it's the aircon gas plus oxygen deprivation (don't get me started)) often lasting for a whole week afterwards, which isn't exactly what I call having a nice time.) (Got me cracked) 24 I have to admit that by kissing this guy whom I liked, I did cheat on my husband. Thank you soulmate,but I'm getting over those issues. So this was me subconsciously- not *setting* the standard but showing my maintaining it as per our agreements over only having eyes for each other and always, ALWAYS being 100% honest with each other no matter WHAT. You had too much to drink and you kissed someone who wasnt your boyfriend or your girlfriend. California coastal beeches will leave you saying -America not too shabby.. Can't take anything from South of France-doesn't everybody go there? Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? He has morals. Shocking Signs Your Husband Kissed Another Woman Well, now, that little lot *definitely* counts as 'debate fodder' relevant to this whole issue, rather than pure chit-chat. / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? The first step to a broken loyalty is a first kiss. I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? (I wonder why.) Lee, thats a good way to CYA - pretend youre talking about this as if it happened to someone else and then gauge your partners reaction. he said the situations arent at all the same bc he doesnt feel turned on by me kissing another guy the way i do from a male on male kiss. He deserves to know. female Spoiler alert: Not that different from kissing a girl, only they dont fancy them. The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. I'm 5 years married to my best friend. I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. It's good you feel guilty, that means your not cheating pond scum. Thus it's what I *DID DO* - back in September when at an Indian restaurant with friends (I mentioned it on this forum as apropos to someone's thread) and some bloke tried to come onto me. So, I reluctantly confessed to getting drunk and kissing my piano teacher. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name. Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. Because you feel guilt and awful, that is already a potential secret wall that will build up between you and the one person in the world with whom you want to be a true closest friend. Any help or advise would be much appreciated. I'm 44 years old and I've been dating a 24 year old for 5 months. We may share information about your use of our site with trusted advertising and analytics partners. reader, missbunbury+, writes (25 October 2005): A Then the women who owns the house went upstairs and never came down. reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): A Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. Should I tell him I kissed someone else? - by John Grey, PhD Sums it up nicely. And, he did little favors for me. Forget about it! At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. stop any contact (outside of work) immediately. Once emotions kicks in, you cant predict what will happen. Anyway I'll get off this post now. I said no but he assured me nothing would happen and we would just lie and cuddle.In a drunken moment I agreed and he assured me nothing would happen. At least I'll know I've done my bit to the very best of my capability. Biological ones. So she left after a couple of replies. I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. The Bedford man accused of killing another after an argument April 24, 2021, pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder, his attorney Dan Kiss said. 2. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. My libido is sharper when Im sober, at least if Im really attracted to a guy and have the love goggles on. Personally I don't believe in marriage. My wife wants to leave because of this. Secrets have no place in a marriage. Your choice, as ever. Ill bet you got drunk on purpose because you wanted to kiss him/her.. I was very drunk. They all agree that kissing is intimate with one even saying that to them, its more intimate than sex. lover. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another mans mouth while he stood by only to observe. See "The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology"; you probably miss at least two of them when you apologize. Best to start your own thread, like I say, if you want, where you could 'whistle while you work' to your heart's content. I had three And the tricky piece de resistance No matter how much we insist that "it's all good, bro, we're like, totally homies!", we don't mean it, not really. Three women and one guy went back. With the other woman just across the room! When you conclude that your guilt is sending you an incorrect message, label your guilt as a false alarm, ignore it as best you can and make a fresh . I thought I had lost him and then bumped into him further down the street. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. They say don't tell the wife or husband about the infidelity, because it would cause more hurt. I felt disorientated. Unless you literally were so drunk that you had no idea what you were doing, it's probably better for you to take responsibility for and own your behavior instead of saying "I got drunk" as an excuse. However, before you choose option 3, you need to talk to the person you kissed when you are sober again and make sure that the other person has strong feelings for you, too.

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